2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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