apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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