I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
