this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
