i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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