Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
As shirtless as possible
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
