Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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