it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
