make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize