chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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