he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
