If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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