Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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