omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
