he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just found puke in my bra..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
