Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
