maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
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