I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
