A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
