The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
