at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
