I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize