i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
