Jerry, you need to find god
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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