It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
