i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
