He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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