you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
