1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
