Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
