C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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