I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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