She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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