she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
