Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize