Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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