I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
