She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
