In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
