lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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