I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
