my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
