You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
