from now on my penis is your penis
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
birth control should be required to get into college
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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