I'm lost and stupid without you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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