is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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