YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Randomize
