Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize