i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
