after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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