i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We had to coat check the pizza.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
