Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
