were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
