I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
