Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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