I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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