Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize