dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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