it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
