people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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