kristin has been a bad kristin
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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