I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
