You really coming over, don't trick.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
