: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
