We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize