How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
These tits shall not be calmed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize