when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
