:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
