its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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