This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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